also forgot a few key sf moments that demand sharing. i.e. i don't want to suffer alone any longer.

first off, when we visited Golden Gate Park we ran across the to-be-expected "No Fill-in-the-Blank" signs. no smoking dope on the hill, yeah right. no skateboarding, no fires, whatever. but the weirdest prohibition was the one against Ultimate Frisbee. wtf is Ultimate Frisbee? is it frisbee, only with sharpened discs of metal instead of safety Fisher-Price plastic? or perhaps rusty circular saw blades? does it involve some sort of acrobatics? whatever it is, it must be quite dangerous bc it led mattbot to direct our attention to the "Warning: Decapitated Heads" symbols conveniently located on the ground throughout the park. he's certain these are Ultimate-Frisbee-related injuries.

mattbot told us a lovely tale of riding public transit in the winter when a homeless person, apparently urine-soaked, climbed on board. the heater in the bus and the breath of the passengers created a bit of a steam bath inside, which, when combined with presence aforementioned urine-soaked homeless guy created a lovely sauna of steamed urine. i suggested the city save the trouble by solving the homelessness problem and simply pipe in the steamed urine smell.

warning: disgusting (okay more disgusting) topic ahead.
one day, when leaving mattbot's oh-so-frisco warehouse apartment, we notice a condom lying on the ground. not shocking to my oklahoma-sensibilities but for the fact that not only was said condom used, but said used condom was ALSO

tied

in

a

knot.

ahem.

what the hell was that for?! i put this all on mattbot, too (no, not the leaving it, the disgusting commentary) cause he said

a) saving it for later?

b) to lock in the freshness?

THEN he asks me if i've seen the new condoms with the zip lock top.

i spend approximately 2.4 seconds believing him and preparing to throw up before i realize he's making a fool out of me.

good times, good times.