that's right. you heard me.

i have stopped saving for her college education. she's clearly not all that bright. especially since she did it twice. *sigh*

so we always use non-toxic cleaning products, as you've heard be blab about before. "vinegar this" and "baking soda that" yadda yadda. anyway, the kitchen table was filthy, no vinegar in the house, and something had to be done. so i put a weak bleach solution in a spray bottle, cleaned the table, and made a mental note to get some vinegar.

HAHAHahaha LOL OMg as if a mental note is going to do me one damned bit of good. i've fried my brain so completely and there's no free disk space for such trivial matters. translation: i promptly forgot and left town, leaving my child in peril.

on the day i was travling home, sitting in reagan international airport, halfway across the country, she climbed up on the kitchen table, grabbed the sprayer, aimed it at her head, and fired. several times.

see note above re: college.

husband freaked, threw her in the car and screeched to the ER, hazards flashing.

the ER docs were not remotely impressed that my daughter had gotten a few measly sprays of weak bleach and water on her tongue. they gave her a drink and sent her home. apparently, this is for all you parents out there, your kid has to drink a pretty decent amount of straight bleach before anything bad happens to them.

i credit hub with making haste to the ER. i debit him for calling my voicemail (while i am several states away stuck in an airport, remember) and, in a totally panic-stricken tone of voice, yelling, "CALL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS!!!!"

so i guess she liked it or something. cause two days later she did it again.