pregnancy can make you crazy. completely insane. at least, it's made me that way ... for example, i had a dream last night where i realized i'd been forgetting to breastfeed the baby. at first i kind of thought someone must have been giving her a bottle, but then i realized that she just hadn't been fed in a few days. uhm ... yeah. and i was looking at her thinking, 'huh. she looks okay to me. somebody must be feeding her.' like she's a stray cat or something?

and i can't even go into some of the other dreams i've had ... well, i'll tell you one of them, but it's reaaaalllllly embarrassing. i actually dreamed about doing the baby's first web site. yeah, i'm a total complete geek-ass loser. 'hi baby, nice to meet you, i'm your mom. i'm a dork.' then again, i guess most everybody's mom is a dork.

having a little girl is a scary proposition ... especially when you live in a college town and have to be around freaking frat boys all the time. *shiver* jerm and i are scrambling to figure out how to raise our child as a completely a-sexual being. there's not a lot of literature on this ...

by the way, it is effin beautiful here! just gorgeous! i have all the windows in the house open, all the ceiling fans on, circulating the lovely fall air throughout all the rooms ... and i carry a box of kleenex everywhere i go. partly because i tend to cry easily, and partly from allergies.

but back on the insanity thing, i have almost lost any semblance of patience. usually, i don't really mind waiting at the doctor's office. i mean, it's quiet, the chairs are comfy, there are tons of magazines, and i'm not at work. these are all on the plus side. but yesterday ... ooooooh yesterday ... i waited two freaking hours. two looong ass hours, and all she had to say to me was, 'everything looks great, see ya in two weeks.' fumefumefume. actually, i would have been fine if someone had just expressed some sympathy about it. 'sorry you had to wait' or something would have totally pacified me.

then i nearly took the head off the poor photo tech guy at wal-mart the other day. and he was being sooo nice ... but the enlarger machine sort of broke while i was using it. i just wanted to tell them about it and go home and try some other time ... but he insisted that he could get it going again if i would just wait a few minutes. twenty minutes later, he's still telling me, 'we're almost there. sorry this is taking so long, but we'll have you up and running in no time.' i look down to where i used to have feet and think 'running?' has this guy even looked at me?

and for future reference, any time you are dealing with a woman as pregnant as i am, offer her a chair. i don't care if you are in the middle of the aisle at wal-mart, she needs to sit down. i stood with photo guy for forty minutes until i was on the verge of tears from the pain in my back. he was just so nice i couldn't ditch him. plus, in the end, i got my pictures and they are lovely. after over a year of marriage, i finally have a framed wedding pic. and i suppose that's about all for now.