so jerm has been checking the graphic design market for new opportunities lately, which has entailed sending out dozens of resumes electronically. here is an exchange over one of those emails. see it seems that in his massive attack he forgot to attach the resume when he sent his message to this guy, so he had to send the obligatory, "oh sorry, i forgot the attachment. here it is" follow-up message. i think we've all been there. perhaps it was this that set the fellow off ... we may never know.

but know this, i have not edited one word of this for effect. i took out our personal info and stuff, but the rest of this is the real freaking deal. the real freaking scary freaky deal. enjoy.

From: "Jeremy"
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2002 10:56:33 -0600
To: [email protected]
Subject: Design Resume'

Hello,

I recently visted your site and was curious to see if you had any positions available.

I currently have two sites on the net that I have done: www.toasters.org and www.ruskbank.com, and am currently involved in a few other online projects. I have attached my resume and would like to hear back from you as soon as possible if you are interested in seeing my portfolio or setting up an interview.

Please email me call me cell phone anytime @ xxx.xxxx.

Thanks a lot
Jeremy

reply:

From: Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2002 11:43:34 -0600
To: "Jeremy"
Subject: Resume for Jeremy Patton

Thanks for your interest in my company. I am but a lowly one man shop who has not made it into a league where I even work every day. Far from it.

Please let me give you some advise.

1st of all your link http://www.ruskbank.com didn't work. Cox is having a network problem at present but I'll look at it later.

2. I recommend you learn Illustrator and Quark and move to Dallas. Houston or some other market you can stand the climate. Chicago is always needing designers as is places like New Jersey. Designers in OkC are all starving unless you get on with a large agency like Ackerman.

3. Make sure everything you submit wether it be web site links or resumes or portfolios are absolutely perfect in every way. If its not error free they'll throw it in the trash and not give it a second thought. Have your friends and love ones go over every thing before you send it out. read and re-read your messages and make sure the attachment is included on the first message. Saying oops and sending it along on another message is pointless.

4. Start reading the Words in red in the Bible. Understand Jesus starting with His words and forget about the preachers who water down the message because they need your financial support. Break Bread every day remembering He died for your sins. I know this sounds kinda far outbut believe me it really works. Investigate everything. He was NOT born in December but in Sept or Oct which by the way is when Yom Kippor is. He was crucified the day after Passover not on the Easter the Christians believe in. HE Is after all the King Of The Jews.

Good Luck and may the Force of Yeshua be with you!!

i can't make this shit up folks.